First Love Page 9
During the ceremony, I kept looking over at him and wanted to cry. This year started out so scary, leaving my home in Texas, moving to a new city and starting over. I was so lucky to find Sam and Angie on my first day, they really have become close friends of mine and I hope we always have that connection. I sat and watched my classmates move across the stage as they grabbed their diplomas and seeing them so happy to start the next chapter in their lives was exciting to see.
As they got to Eric, I watched him smile and wave at his family. He quickly found my eyes and winked at me which made me smile back at him. I was proud of him. He’s starting his football career and his new life. He was destined to make it big, part of me was sad that I wouldn’t be experiencing it with him. I snapped out of my trance as I heard my name being called out; I got up and walked the stage getting my diploma. I heard my family and friends cheering as I finished my high school career.
After graduation, I found Sam and Angie and gave them quick hugs. Promising Angie that we wouldn’t lose touch as she headed off to NYU and making her promise that I get to be a bridesmaid when Mike pops the question. She laughed as I turned to find my family. I almost ran right into him as my hands came up and fell against his chest.
“Sorry Eric, I didn’t see you there.”
He smiled, “It’s ok, congrats on your diploma.”
I smiled at him, looking into his eyes, “You too, well I should go find my family, good luck again at Syracuse, I know I will be hearing about you in the future.” I said as I walked away from him for the last time that summer.
COLLEGE
Sam and I spent every day together buying things for our dorm room. We were so excited to be starting college. We went to the campus a few times and walked around trying to figure out where things were. It was a beautiful sunny day in Buffalo when we got our room assignment and decided to walk campus to find the building.
“This is going to be so exciting, new life, new classes, new experience and new boys!” Sam laughed, “College boys!”
I laughed, “I’m not sure if I’m ready for that, but I’m still excited.”
She looked at me as we kept looking for the building, “Have you seen him at all this summer?”
“No, my mom said he has already left for Syracuse, the football program has already started.”
“Are you sorry that you didn’t make up with him before he left?”
“No, he broke my heart, I don’t know if I will ever get over that.”
She nodded, “Ok, back to happier things. Let’s try to find this building.”
We kept walking, finally finding our dorm building. The doors were locked but at least we were able to figure out where stuff was from there.
“This is going to be the best year,” Sam said. She had the biggest smile on his face when she turned and saw two guys staring at us.
“Sam, come on, we haven’t even started here yet and you are already picking up guys, give me a break.”
She laughed, “College men, Emily, College men!”
She started walking over to them with me close behind, I whispered, “You are out of control.”
“Hi,” She said, “Do you guys go here?”
“Yeah we are juniors, you?”
“Just little freshman, trying to figure out where everything is,” She flirted like a pro.
I laughed out loud and everyone turned to look at me, “Sorry, hi.”
The one guy smiled at me, “So, what’s your major?”
“Graphic Design, you?”
“Communication; we are actually both on the football team.”
My heart sunk into my chest as Sam looked at me. She knew what I was thinking about and who I was thinking about.
“We were about to head down to the field for practice, would you guys like to come down and watch the Bulls at work?” The taller dark haired one asked.
I shook my head quickly, “Sorry, we need to go.”
Sam pouted, “Sorry guys, maybe next time.”
I quickly turned and started to walk away.
************************************
It was already mid October, classes were in full swing, adjusting to dorm life finally sunk in and Sam had a different guy every week. I was deep into my graphic design classes, staying late after classes, working in the lab trying to learn every thing that I could.
I made it home every weekend to see my mom; she started dating someone which made me feel wonderful. She was finally moving on. We had Sunday dinner every week and Paul was starting to join us.
“Honey, can you help me in the kitchen?” My mom yelled for me.
I left Paul to the football game in the living room and headed to see my mom.
“I’m just about done with sauce,” She said handing me the spoon, “Keep stirring. So, what do you think of Paul?”
“He’s really nice, Mom. I like him.”
She smiled at me, “Good, I’m glad you think that way.”
“I can see that look in your eyes, Mom. You are falling for him!”
“Shhhhh, he can’t hear that.”
I laughed, “Mom, you are so funny, you look like I did when you talked to me about…” My thoughts trailed off, I made myself try to forget him. Whenever he popped into my mind it made me believe that I had to start all over again.
I didn’t hear my mom walk over to me but I felt her arms around my shoulders, “Emily, are you sure you want it to be over with Eric?”
I cringed at his name, “Yes, it needs to be. He lied to me.”
“I know you didn’t want to share the whole story with me, which I understand, but I see it on your face, I see that you still love him, Emily.”
“I’m over it, Mom.” I said moving back to the sauce and turned off the heat, “Let’s have dinner, go get Paul.”
She smiled at me as she grabbed the bowl, “Maybe just call him, Emily. His mother left me his phone number, just in case.”
I looked at her, “What?”
“You know that we are friends, we talked about how horrible it was that you guys broke up, so we always had hopes that maybe your paths would cross again, so I gave her your number and I’m now giving you his.”
“Well, I’m assuming since I haven’t heard from him, he has given up on it too.”
“You don’t know he has your number to begin with and he’s probably just as stubborn as you are!” She grabbed the food and left the room.
I got back to the dorm around eight and Sam was curled up on her bed with her English assignment.
“Hey! How was Sunday dinner with the family?”
“It was nice, Mom’s boyfriend is really cool. He’s good for her.”
“That’s nice,” She smiled.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked her as I took my coat off and changed into my pajamas.
“Nothing, just stressing about a few classes, midterms are around the corner.”
“Yeah, I know. But, if you need help studying I will help you.”
“Thanks, grab this sheet and ask me the questions.”
We studied for the next few hours until she fell asleep. I laughed when she didn’t answer the last question as I noticed her passed out on pillow. I grabbed her blanket and covered her up and grabbed my laptop.
I started to think about Eric, wondering if he was dating, how football was going for him, did he ever think about me? My plans didn’t work out the way I wanted them to for us. I thought by now we would be trying to manage a long distance relationship and of course, would have already spent the evening together. I started to get angrier, the more I thought about it. I took a deep breath and typed in the Syracuse University website.
I wasn’t sure what I was looking for or what I was doing. Maybe I was trying to reach out. I looked over the pictures from the football games; it looked like quite the event. The stands were full of orange sweatshirts and people going crazy for their team. As I scanned the page, I found him. The picture wasn’t great, but he was on the field i
n his practice jersey. He looked amazing. I clicked on the picture and saved it on my computer. Above the picture was a link for the upcoming games. I hesitated but clicked shortly after. This Saturday night was another game and it was only a three hour drive. I smiled slightly, thinking about seeing him again.
I looked over at Sam sleeping, “Sam, wake up!”
She moved her head towards me, “What? It can’t be morning yet.”
“No, it’s one in the morning.”
“Then why are you talking to me?”
“How do you feel about a road trip on Saturday?”
“Road trip? Where are we going?” She asked, wiping her eyes and looking at me.
“Syracuse.”
She didn’t say anything at first. She stared at me wondering if she was still asleep, “Let’s go!”
SYRACUSE
We left around noon, hoping to get there early enough to look around. My mom was thrilled about the road trip. I took his number just in case I got the nerve to call him. I had no idea what I was going to say to him when I saw him. I honestly had no right to even go see him. I was the one who broke it off. I sighed but realized this is what I needed to do. Maybe I could at least leave with my friend again.
We found a parking spot at the stadium and watched in amazement as the crowds were already there celebrating and looking forward to that evenings game.
“Well, Todd gave me Eric’s room number if you wanted to take a chance that he is there.”
“I don’t know, I don’t want to bug him, maybe we will just walk around for a bit and see the campus.”
“That’s fine. Whatever you want, I know you are worried, Em. I see it on your face, but you are taken the first step today to get him back. You look amazing. So, stop worrying!”
I laughed at her, though, I did agree, I looked good. I grabbed my jeans that he loved on me, my cute red t-shirt and even cut my hair.
We started walking around campus amazed by the size of it. There was a different atmosphere here, it was electric. Sam was enjoying herself watching all the Syracuse men, I laughed every time she wanted to stop and stare.
We ended up down at the athlete center. My breathing stopped when I saw a bunch of guys hanging around in football jerseys. I sat at the nearest bench and watched. Sam sat next to me, “I have an idea but are you sure you want see him?”
I thought about the question first, I had decided that I would reach out to him but now I wonder if I made the right choice. I still loved him, I had tried to bury it deep down inside of me and move on but I couldn’t. I still believed that somehow we were supposed to be in each other’s life. I slowly nodded at Sam.
“OK,” She said as she left my side. I watched her approach the football guys, flirting with the best of them. She was amazing. She laughed when she needed too and touched the arms of a few of them. They were putty in her hands. I saw her turn around and head towards the building as she looked back at me and winked.
I didn’t know if I should follow her and stay here. She was up to something but I didn’t know what it was. I stood up when I saw her come out of the building, my breathing stopped. He was right behind her, she pointed my way and his gaze followed. Our eyes locked as a small smile appeared on his face.
They headed my way, “Emily, look who I found?”
I watched as Eric came in front of me, he put his arms out and I gave him a quick hug.
Sam smiled, “I’m going back to talk to my new friends.”
I looked back at Eric, “Hi Stranger.”
“Hey, I can’t believe you are here.”
“Yeah, it was a last minute kind of thing.”
“You should have called, I could have gotten you tickets by the field or something,” He said sitting down next to me.
“Like I said last minute; I was talking to my mom and she mentioned that maybe it was time that I forgave you and I guess I agreed.”
He smiled, “Yeah, I know our mom’s have been talking a lot lately. I have a feeling the depression in their children might have something to do with it.”
“Have you been depressed, Eric?”
“Since the minute you left me at Senior Prom.”
I looked at him again I didn’t know how to approach this at all. I was hoping that when I saw him it would all come to me but it wasn’t, “Yeah that was the worse night of my life.”
“You and me both and that definitely was not my plan for the evening,” He laughed.
“So, are you dating here?”
He paused before answering, “I’ve been on a few dates,” He reached over and took my hand, “But, I haven’t connected with anyone like I did with you.”
I smiled, happy to hear he’s being honest with me, “How do you like school?”
“It’s great, classes are good. Football is a lot tougher here,” He laughed, “I’m still on the practice squad but Coach says that I’m making great progress.”
“That’s great, Eric. I’m happy for you.”
“What about you? Who’s the incredibly lucky guy back in Buffalo?” He asked smiling at me.
I laughed, “I’m single, haven’t been on a date since Senior Prom.”
He stared at me, “Really?”
“Yeah, you broke my heart, Eric.”
He sighed, “I will never forgive myself for that, Emily. You shouldn’t have found out that way.”
I didn’t say anything to him I just stared at his face, trying to remember every detail for when I had to leave him later.
“So, you are coming to the game, then?”
“Yeah, we managed to get nosebleed seats,” I smiled.
“Are you staying in Syracuse tonight?”
“We wanted to but couldn’t find anywhere to stay.”
“Yeah, game days are normally intense around here. I don’t want you to leave though.”
I smiled, “Sorry. We figured we should leave right after the game.”
He grabbed her hand again, “Please stay.”
“Eric, unless we sleep in our car, we can’t.”
He looked at me, “Stay in my room.”
“Don’t you have a roommate?”
“He goes home every weekend,” He said as he moved closer to me on the bench, “Please.”
“I have Sam with me.”
“So, she can sleep in his bed,” He said trying to read my face.
I didn’t say anything, I wasn’t sure if I was ready for this, I just came to talk to him. I quickly scanned the area for Sam. I found her standing by her new friends.
I looked back at Eric, “I will be right back.”
I headed over to see Sam, “Hey Emily. I want you to meet Rob and Aaron. They are on the football team too.”
“Hey guys, can I steal Sam away just for a second?”
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay and chat with us? We offered to take Sam out tonight after the game, we could always bring you along too, Sweetie,” The tall one said grabbing my arm.
“I don’t think so, but thanks for the offer though,” I said as I tried to pull my arm away. His grip wasn’t letting me go though.
“Come on, Emily, one drink.”
I didn’t have time to respond, Eric was by my side, “Let go of her, Aaron.”
“Hey Eric, we were just getting to know each other.”
“She’s mine so if you would kindly remove your fingers from her arm before I will remove them for you.”
I smirked at Eric, hearing those words sent shivers through my body. I felt his hand disappear off my skin. Eric put his arm around my shoulders and stared at Aaron.
“Sorry Man, I didn’t know.”
Eric just nodded at him. I felt the tension in his arm. It felt so good to feel his arm around me again, I found myself leaning towards him.
“Sam, can we chat?” I asked her.
“Sure, come on.”
Sam and I headed back to the bench as Eric followed behind us. “What would you think about spending the night here?”
“What if I found us a room?”
“Where?” She asked as I turned around and stared at Eric, “OH!”
“Yeah, his roommate is out of town and we can stay in his room.”
Sam leaned over to me, “Are you going to sleep with him!”
“NO! Of course not, just thought it would be fun, I realized that I really miss him.”
“I would do anything for you, Emily,” She said as she hugged me.
“Thanks Sam, I owe you one,” I turned towards Eric and realized he was right behind me.
“Yeah Sam, we owe you one,” He said looking into my eyes his arm went back around my shoulder.
We headed back towards the sports arena since Eric needed to meet the team to get ready for the game. We agreed to meet at the front gates after the game so we could head back to his dorm with him.
Eric leaned over and whispered to me as Sam was quickly distracted by more football players, “I can’t wait to hold you in my arms all night long.”
I smiled at him, “I’ve dreamt of that so many times.”
“Me too, Emily. So, does this mean you want to try our relationship again? No lies, no secrets. Just us.”
I looked into his eyes I wanted to believe that so much. I wanted our relationship back. After looking at all the college guys no one even came close to Eric. I missed his touch, I missed his smell and I missed everything about him. Just say yes, Emily. Stop staring at him and say yes.
Eric moved a little closer to me, “Well?”
“Yes,” I softly said.
He smiled at me, leaning down kissing my lips. All the emotions came flooding back to me. My hand moved up into his hair as he deepened the kiss. I sensed that he was feeling the same emotions as he held my face against his. I let out a soft moan, as he pulled away and whispered, “God I missed that.”
I smiled as I heard Sam behind us, “You guys are making me sick again, get a room!” I heard her giggling.
Eric whispered, “Tonight.”
The game was so exciting. Sam and I cheered on Syracuse with the thousands of other screaming fans. The stadium was filled with Orangemen. It was an awesome sight as I watched the field and saw Eric on the sidelines discussing plays with the starting quarterback. He looked like he was enjoying himself. I could tell he was in his element. I stared around the stadium and could understand why this meant so much to him. I sat back down as the other team came onto the field. I just smiled as I enjoyed the night.